How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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