The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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