Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
