At least make sure they are 18
Why
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize