its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
how drunk are you?
Several
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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