This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
