I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize