We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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