As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
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