I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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