Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
