My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
