He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
