By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
