Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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