shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
