I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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