you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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