I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Randomize
