You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
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