The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
