I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Randomize
