Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
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