The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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