Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
