; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
