You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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