Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
