I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
are you so shy because you have an std?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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