today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
