hotel room ftw
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
