you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
