The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
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