1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
