would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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