found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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