Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
