My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
