I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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