Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
