the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Sorry my hands just texted you
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
