$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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