By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
