I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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