We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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