i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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