I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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