question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
