: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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