smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
