Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
operation have a gay friend backfired
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
