the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
