Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
