she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
