It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Randomize
