some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize