Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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