we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
He kissed a someone with a penis
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
