$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
