I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Just high enough for therapy.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
