You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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