A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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