her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
