pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
