I smell stomach acid.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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