talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Randomize
