Ambien. No doubt about it.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
