think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
